Two boys organize highly successful "Occupy Bathroom" movement

Two Upper West Side boys have been credited with waging the country's most successful "Occupy" movement to date, taking over their family's sole bathroom for 90 consecutive days. The adolescents began the movement with no particular political goal in mind. "I'm against corporate greed," said movement founder Samuel Tarpley, 13. "But I really just wanted a quiet place to play Minecraft." Brother Ethan, 10, shared his idealism. "When you think about the economic disparity that exists in this country, it really makes you just want to go somewhere and watch YouTube for a few hours." Although the brothers were eventually ousted by authorities, they quickly regrouped, forming successful "Occupy Sofa" and "Occupy TV" movements. "We are the 99%," they proclaimed.